Your job is being a writer, like my job is being a librarian. Of course you can’t change what has already been published, but if someone offers you constructive criticism, it’s kind of like my annual review process.

I have some sympathy for your situation with the douchebag, though. At least, in my case, I have the benefit of HR guidelines that keep my boss from being a dick about it.

It’s the one-on-one aspect. I don’t know what I am supposed to say to what often comes across as a clumsy attack.

Negative feedback with no constructive value is pointless and is likely coming from someone with all of the personality traits described by the folks above. However, I am concerned that you seem to be uninterested in any constructive criticism as well. I know it’s hard to hear, but personally, I wouldn’t be able to grow and learn if all I ever heard was how awesome I am.

If someone takes the time to tell you why they aren’t listening/reading your work, then you might want to at least consider their points. You don’t have to do anything about them, but ignoring them won’t do you much good in the long run.

I’m kinda like one of *those* people, sadly, but have spared you (Mur) the email.
I used to listen to GeekFu (as well as ISBW), from long before to the Heaven series and through the Hell series. Since I have a LitCrit and philosphical background, I made all kinds of notes on the books’ plot lines, character development, style issues, theological and philosophical inconsistencies and had built up an extensive critique of the fictional world and your books about it. At first, I was thinking you might want to have the feedback, but then changed my mind.

During the podcasts, you’d profusely thank everyone for the positive feedback, the blog commenters would give you praise, and you’d even (eventually) get a couple of fairly awful “Heaven fanfic” to air as well, as tribute to your fans’ love of your work. That’s real dedication/fandom.

It occurred to me that if I were to send you the feedback (unsolicited) I would be pissing in your cornflakes. You had/have enough fans of the series and your work to make it all worthwhile for them and you, and I doubted you were going to consider any of the feedback. It’s really easy to hit “delete” on a long email from someone you don’t know, especially when you didn’t ask for it.

So I figured you should continue to do what you do: Have fun, make fans, make friends, make money, and I’d listen elsewhere, lest my temptation to critique overpower my better sense.

So, I’m not a “crazy,” “egomaniacal,” “stupid” or a “douchenozzle” for wanting to give feedback on art (as some of the commenters supposed), but I’m also not too much of a “fan” anymore.

Since you don’t want to know *why* am I not listening/reading/whatever, I won’t tell you that it’s for my own good, and puts less noise in your signal to noise ratio.

You are *not* alone! I, and from the above comments, others, are right there with you. We don’t get it either.

Just remember, there are lots more of us *not crazies* out here listening and reading your work — and enjoying it!

Keep it up!

Best Regards,
Jonathan Rock

As far as what to say back I have a few suggestions:

1. Well I didn’t write it for YOU! (snarky, not recommended)
2. Really? Thanks for the input but we did look at that part and didn’t see it that way.
3. I agree, but my characters don’t always do what I want them to.
4. Yeah, but I make a mean soufflee!
5. Buzz! Too late, the shot clock had run out on that one.
6. Hmm, wanna go ride bikes?

It kind of reminds me of the Douglas Adams book when Arthur Dent is stuck on earth in the distant past and a UFO lands and the alien disembarks only long enough to insult him and leave.

I guess the best thing you could say is that if they want things to go different it’s because they could not write the book you did. But that also means nobody could write the books they would so they should get out there and write one better if they can. Damon Knight often got some of his best stories by writing ones he had read the way they should have been (idea-wise, not same characters obviously) in his opinion.

The good news is your stories are impacting people to the degree that they are invested in them and even if it is sometimes backhanded it is a great compliment.

Cheers,
Jonathan Rock

Even more interesting and enlightening, though, is when someone tells me why they did not like what I did. This gives me the chance to think about their point of view, and look at it and the things they criticized from a few different angles. Sometimes I do not understand the criticism even after thinking about it, sometimes I understand where they come from, but do not agree with their point of view, and sometimes I understand their point and maybe change aspects of what I am doing.

So, I was surprised when I read:

> I just don’t need to know why.

Is not this the best type of feedback you can get? Information why someone does not experience satisfaction with some part of the work you do?

Now, even after having read your post twice, I may have missed the part where you said what were the reasons why they will not listen (and they sure are missing out on a lot of fun), but is all of this feedback really completely worthless to you?

I would like to second what Jason R. wrote (well, part of it anyway). I know, as a writer, that my writing can always get better. I think I heard your hero Connie Willis say the same thing. For that reason, I listen to all criticism, and I think about it (after I’ve finished weeping;). I analyze it to see if there’s any credence in what they say. If there is, I try to apply it to my writing. If there isn’t then I dismiss what they person said/wrote.

That being said, when someone is willing to take the time to write a response to me, it means I’ve awakened his emotions to the point where he can’t hold them in anymore and has to share them. That means I’ve succeeded in my writing! My goal, with everything I write, is to tap into that deep well of feeling we all have and draw it out. If someone responds, it means I’ve done it.

Mur, you rock, and so does your writing! Whatever you hear, keep going. After all, You should be writing! In fact, so should I.

Making that kind of assumption that you might be an egomaniac right off the bat speaks to where this person’s head is (i.e., projection). No doubt, this is someone who is very full of himself and thinks they are quite important, and wants to make sure you are on his level (or what he thinks of as his level) of professionalism about “the craft” before speaking with you so as not to waste his time. No doubt there is some jealousy here: “This Mur person can’t possibly be *this* popular and be nice. She must be a bitch or egomaniac or…well, no doubt LESS talented than *I* (sic) so *I* must set the rules of this conversation right off that bat.”

Don’t let it get you down.

The only reason I could see being constructive criticism is if they tell the WHY they don’t like it. And frankly, I think that the two words should be used exclusively together, ‘constructive’ and ‘criticism’.

I’ve had customers return parts with ‘we don’t like it’, and when asked why, they couldn’t answer. Talking about 6 figure purchases as well. We are a funny breed of animal, us humans.

It’s one thing for people to tell you why your story didn’t work for them (I kind of appreciate knowing the why, but that’s my own thing). But it’s really unprofessional and a little bizarre for the person in the same email/correspondence/whatever to say they want to be your friend, after trashing your stuff.

There are plenty of us out here who never say a word (like me) who DO listen to your books, as well as your amazing podcasts–egads, you have no idea (until now!) just how helpful they were to me. Seriously. After a long period of non-writing after selling my first book, then my husband falling ill and passing away, I stumbled on your podcast and, well…I’m back to writing regularly again. I blame your podcast in no small part. LOL.

I agree with some above who say it is a problem on that person’s (and others like him) part. Some strange need. Emphasis on strange.

Glad you posted about it though. Hopefully these comments will help jump this hurdle and no one like that will ever make you feel like tearing your hair out again. Their loss, after all. I recommend your work to anyone I know who needs a boost, just to know they aren’t alone.

Carolyn

Fortunately for you Mur, you are past the last stage and are getting some feedback. Unfortunately for you, every jackhole on the planet has a chance to make their voice heard and some of them should not out of common courtesy.

I don’t understand that mindset, and maybe it is as simple as them expecting you to change things to suit their tastes, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that this is simply someone who is expecting custom content to suit their desires and that is not your job.

Your job is to tell YOUR stories, and that is why you have the audience that you have earned. We come to hear your stories. That’s why we come and that’s why we stay. That’s why we buy the books, give feedback, contribute to projects like Stories of the Third Wave and that’s why you have so many fellow podcasters and authors willing to give up their time to help in recording projects like The Takeover.

Keep writing Mur, and realize that you have a faithful fanbase that enjoys your work. Don’t let this detractor get you down.

R