Fingertips: I Found A New Friend Underneath My Pillow

Yikes! Over a month since I posted the last Fingertips! Bad Mur! Fingertips: A Flash Experiment, is a project where I’m writing a different flash story for each bit of the They Might Be Giants’ “Fingertips” songs from Apollo 18. See info here.

I Found A New Friend Underneath My Pillow

Eric had had dates end badly before, but nothing like the date with Maria.

It had been perfect. She’d laughed at his jokes, she had fascinated him with tales of her life as an architect and her travels in China, and she looked damn hot in that red dress.

She was a vegetarian, and she had a kid, but that didn’t turn off Eric. He liked kids. He liked them even better when they were at grandma’s so he could go back to Maria’s house after their date. He’d offered his place, but she got a strange look on her face and said no, she’d host. Eric had shrugged and gone along with it. Didn’t matter whose bed, after all. And apparently she’d prepared for him.

They were kissing furiously, wildly, even before she had the door open. They nearly fell into her house and she led him down the hall, shedding the dress like a second skin. He followed eagerly, but when she showed him her bedroom, he stopped in confusion.

“Spartan” would have been too cushy of a description for this room. A dresser stood in one corner, a bookshelf in the other. Nothing hung on the walls, and on the hardwood floor was a foam pillow and three blankets. A lamp, a book (“Bridge of Birds”) and an undrunk glass of water sat neatly by the thin foam pillow.

“Come on, Tiger, you’re wearing too much,” Maria said, her voice almost a purr.

“Uh, on the floor? Won’t that be uncomfortable? Would you rather go to the couch or something?”

She drew back. “No. I have no cushions in this house, just my buckwheat pillow and Jeffy’s bed roll.”

“You have a thing against cushions?”

She sat on her blankets, a swift, graceful move. The dress hung from her waist revealing her black bra, but she didn’t notice her half-clothed state. Her eyes had a faraway look as she spoke.

“I’ve been an OK house cleaner. Jeffy’s old enough to help now, and we do OK. But last year he had a camp at the local science museum, and I was going to pick him up. He asked to stop by the-” She paused here to shudder. “-Dust mite exhibit. The museum had a slide under a high powered microscope and camera, projecting the little buggers onto a screen. Jeffy wanted to play with the camera. So I let him while I read about dust mites. And they’re everywhere.”

OK. So she was a bit of a clean freak, slight phobia of dust mites. Eric could deal with this. Although he was having trouble thinking with her in her bra, he tried to focus. “So you want to get rid of the dust mites. That’s fine. I’m sorry I brought it up.” He sat beside her and dragged a finger down her neck. He leaned in to kiss her and she drew back, frowning.

“No, you don’t understand. I’m not crazy. Jeffy was moving the camera all over the place and I was reading. Did you know that over years, dust mites can add ten pounds to a mattress? And most of that is their feces.”

Eric made a face.

“I know!” she said. “I was horrified. They live in your pillows, mattresses, anywhere you spend a good amount of time, shedding skin.” She rubbed her arm absently. “So I tried to help Jeffy focus the camera. And what I saw still haunts me.”

Eric couldn’t help but be drawn into her story. “What was it?”

She looked at him, moonlight making her eyes glisten. “They’re not just eating and shitting, Eric. They’re building. I recognized the architecture lines of some of the unique buildings I saw in China. They’re taking their feces and building civilizations out of it. It looked primitive, simple structures, but a couple thousand years ago we were primitive too. What are they evolving into?”

Eric’s breath caught in his throat, and his desire fizzled away like Alka-Seltzer. He didn’t screw crazy. He had to make a graceful exit. Early meeting. Yeah.

Maria continued. “I tried to tell the museum people, but they didn’t care. They thought I was insane. When I came in to get Jeffy the next day, I took some pictures of the exhibit. I’ve tried to contact other scientists, but no one believes me. I’m not a scientist, they say. Dust mites brains are too small to build civilizations. But I know what I saw. So I came home and tossed my sofa, the mattresses and pillows. I replaced the carpet with hard floors and only decorate with things that can be washed in hot water.”

Her eyes were wide. “If they’re going to build their empire, they’re not going to do it here.”

Eric cleared his throat. “I’ve upset you. I’m sorry. Besides, I have an early meeting. I think I should go. Can I call you tomorrow?”

Her face fell. “No. Just go. Don’t fool me into thinking you believe me, or understand, or care.”

Eric apologized and left quickly. Man, she’d seemed so normal at dinner. He got home, reveling in the warmth of his place. He hadn’t realized how chilly Maria’s house had been. He reflected it was good he hadn’t brought her back here. While not a slob, he hadn’t washed his pillows or turned or vacuumed his mattress in years.

He undressed and fell into bed, irritated and a little creeped out. Sleep soon took him over, though, and he drifted.

HELLO. BONJOUR. GUTEN TAG. NIHAO. ATTEMPTING FIRST CONTACT. ATTEMPTING FIRST CONTACT. WILL CONTINUE THIS TRANSMISSION UNTIL RECEIVE REPLY.

Eric woke up with a gasp. He looked around the room, but no one was there. He rubbed his face, slick with sweat. Just a dream. Right.

Still. Cleanliness was important. He grabbed his pillow, his sheets, his blankets, and headed for the washing machine.

Hot water should do the trick.

This is released under a Creative Commons Attribution-Non-Commercial-Share Alike license.

Fingertips 6 – I Found A New Friend (LP Version)

Fingertips: A Flash Experiment by Mur Lafferty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.