Enunciation is key

AS our daughter is getting older, we do encounter the swearing thing more. Right now she’s in a purely academic world. I wrote “Don’t be an ass” in a notebook as a note of what I wanted to talk about on I Should Be Writing, which she saw. “Mom, why did you write the A word in your notebook? I’m telling Dad!” Then we had, “Is “bitch” a bad word? Michael called someone that at school.”I also had to explain why bitch and ass were fine when you used them to talk about animals, but not people.

So at lunch today, Jason and I were talking about True Blood (purely G discussion) and she heard us mention vampires. She looked at me and said, “Vampire goth whore!”

I was stunned. “What?”

“Vampire goth whore.”

“Now where did you hear that?”

“I read it in a book somewhere.” Shit, has she picked up anything I’ve been reading? I asked her. She made a face and said no.

She wanted to know if goth was bad, cause they said that on the Danny Phantom cartoon. I said no. Then she said it again, and I realized she was saying, “Vampire goth horror.”

I collapsed into relieved laughter, and Jason (who had been silent this whole time, bless him) said, “Whew. Enunciation is a very important thing.”

“Mom. Your face is turning red.”

I was laughing too hard to answer her.

Also in the Daughter Learns Colorful Idioms Series: Baby’s First F-Bomb